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Yesterday I went to a pig roast - not necessarily a bad thing, but I had food poisoning Thursday (I'm pretty sure that's what it was). So Friday at dinner was the first I had real food - toast doesn't count.
I head up there a lil late on Saturday, I didn't have dinner cause I figured there would still be pig, and I had a cherry bomb in a big ass cup to go. By the time the cherry bomb is gone I decide it's a good time for some food, but I dont see any in sight. So, I had some moonshine instead, and a refill on the cherry bomb, and a cherry soaked in moonshine. And at some point someone popped a percocet into my hot little hand - you know that went right down.
I'm not sure what time I wandered out to my car to lie down and vomit, my friends found me in the car, brought me my stuff and appointed me a 6'9" babysitter - who apparently checked on me several times an hour for however long I was passed out and randomly heaving.
I woke up around 3 am feeling somewhat human, passed a field sobriety test given by the afformentioned babysitter, drove myself home, peeled my clothes off, jumped in the shower and crashed back out.
I'm freaking brilliant, brilliant I tell you!
