(1)A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because
even though it was a very large mammal, its throat was very small. The little
girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher
reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was phys ically
impossible. The little girl said, 'When I get to heaven, I will ask
Jonah.' The teacher asked, 'What if Jonah went to hell?' The little girl
replied, 'Then you ask him.'
(2)A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while
they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's
work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently , she asked
what the drawing was. The girl replied, 'I'm drawing God.' The teacher paused
and said, 'But no one knows what Go! d looks like.' Without missing a
beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, 'They will in a
minute.'
(3)A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her
five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to 'honour' thy
Father and thy Mother, she asked, 'Is there a commandment that teaches us
how to treat our brothers and sisters?' Without missing a beat one little
boy, the oldest of a family, answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
(4)The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to
persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. 'Just think how nice
it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer,
she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor'.' A small voic
e at the back of the room rang out, 'And there's the teacher, she's dead.'
(5)A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying
to make the matter clearer, she said, 'Now, class, if I stood on my head,
the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.'
'Yes,' the class said.'Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the
ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?'A little fellow
shouted,'Cause your feet ain't empty.'
(6)The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary
school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The
nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE. God is
watching.'Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.A child had written a note, 'Take
all you want. God is watching the apples.'
It doesn't matter h ow many people you send this to, just remember if it
made you laugh, your friends will laugh, too.