Don’t be fooled by me.
Don’t be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask, I wear a thousand masks
Masks that I’m afraid to take off,
And none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that’s second nature with me,
Don’t be fooled, for Goddess sake don’t be fooled.
I give You the impression that I’m secure,
That all is sunny and unruffled with me,
Within and without,
That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
That the water is calm and I’m in command,
And that, I need no one.
Don’t believe me.
Please!
My surface may seem smooth, my surface is my mask,
My ever – varying and ever – concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me
In confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
I …. hide this well.
I don’t want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weakness
And fear being exposed.
That’s why I frantically
Create a mask to hide behind,
A nonchalant, sophisticated façade,
To help me pretend,
To shield me from the glance “that knows”.
Such a glance is precisely my salvation.
My only salvation.
And I know it!
That is if it’s followed by acceptance,
If it’s followed by love.
It’s the only thing that can liberate me,
From myself,
From my own self – built prison walls,
From barriers that I so painstakingly erect.
