xX TishyLicious RLGF2 Just Syn Xx's blog: "Poetry "

I dont know where I stand in life,
I Dont know who I am;
My haunting past is a part of me,
That so Long ago took its stand;

I want to know My destiny, 
I want to know the truth, 
But lately it has been Difficult, 
No light seems to shine through;

The darkness set upon me,
Is binding me like chains,
Invisible to the Naked eye,
But they get tighter by the day;

They pull me closer to depression,
The light keeps traveling further away,
These chains are pulling me under,
God, Save me!
I silently pray;

I'm pushed down to my knees,
As my body becomes weak,
I'm left here all alone,
Drowning in my Misery;

The tears fall from my eyes,
as I silently cry,
The pain is so emmense, 
Sometimes I just want to die;

I wipe away my tears,
As I struggle to break free,
Break free from these Wretched chains,
that are constantly binding me;

I scream out to the silence,
"This is not the life for me,
God save me from this life of hell,
This is not my destiny;

But the Silence becomes stronger,
As I once again begin to weep,
Tears streaming down my face,
Is this the end of me?

I feel the chains getting tighter,
As I get up off my knees,
I will not live this life,
Even if I die Breaking free;

I look into a mirror,
That somehow just appeared,
the Sorrow in my eyes,
Now transformed to anger and fear...

I dont know where I am in life,
and I dont know what to think,
My life is constantly changing,
Nothing makes sense to me;

One day i can be smiling,
For some reason God only knows, 
The next day I am Crying,
telling myself I must let go;

This on and off Depression,
is beating me with ease,
I cant force myself to Smile no more,
the pain is killing me; 

I try to tell myself, 
It is all just a dream,
Tomorrow ill wake up,
and Ill go back to being me;

But it never truly happens,
I wake up and its all the same,
Another worthless day in my life,
full of false happiness and pain

Im dying inside because of you, 
I silently cry as my heart breaks in two; 
I’m failing at life, 
No one can make me smile, 
No one besides you, 
Knows how to make my life worthwhile; 

Im suffocating from this silence, 
That we now share, 
A week ago it was perfect, 
Now you do not seem to care; 

No matter what I do, 
And no matter what I say, 
I cannot get you to speak to me, 
The silence grows stronger by the day; 

I don’t know what I have done, 
I don’t know what I should do, 
Should I stay here and wait? 
As my heart slowly breaks in two? 

Should I walk away forever? 
Should I lock away my heart? 
Should I stand here waiting, 
As you completely tare me apart; 

I do not know the answer, 
Because no matter how hard I try, 
I cannot get myself to say it, 
I cannot tell you Goodbye; 

I cannot walk away forever, 
Because I know that I’ll come back, 
I cannot wait here however, 
Because my heart is under attack; 

I cannot decide on what to do, 
Because no matter what I still need you, 
No matter what you do to me, 
No matter what you’ve done, 
I cannot walk away from you, 
You’re the one I love; 


I know that you don’t care,
Its obvious you see, 
If you truly cared, 
You would talk to me; 

You wouldn’t stand in silence, 
Watching me as I fall, 
You wouldn’t keep things from me, 
You use to be my all; 

You used to be the one, 
Id come to when I was sad, 
You use to be the one, 
That could cheer me up when I was mad; 

You used to be the one, 
That could instantly make me smile, 
Just saying hello, 
Would make my life worthwhile; 

But now things have changed, 
And I don’t know what to do, 
You used to be my everything, 
You don’t care, 
But I still love you.

The tears fall from my face, 
As I finally break into tears, 
My life flashes before my eyes, 
Memories of the past 4 years; 

My heart breaks in half, 
The pain is so immense, 
Id rather die right now, 
Then have to continue to live; 

My eyes search the room, 
Searching for the unknown, 
My eyes focus on you, 
I cannot let you go; 

My heart shatters slowly, 
And my tears pour from my eyes, 
The pain ive bottled for oh so long, 
Finally breaking free from its disguise; 

My life feels like a tunnel, 
With no light at the end, 
The days keep getting harder, 
Its getting harder for me to live; 

My arms reach out towards you, 
But you seem so far away, 
I cannot get to you in time, 
You disappear as you walk away; 

My arms fall to my sides, 
As I crumble to the ground, 
Breaking into sobs, 
Sobs without a sound; 

I lay there all alone, 
Crying my heart out, 
Wishing you would come back to me, 
Wishing you were here somehow; 

I feel like I am dying, 
Now that you are gone, 
I cannot stop the crying, 
I cannot keep myself strong; 

I cannot tell myself, 
I don’t need you in my life, 
I cannot tell myself that, 
Because I know that’d be a lie; 

I cannot breathe without you, 
You make my heart skip its beat, 
I cannot sleep without you, 
I need you next to me; 

I cannot smile without you, 
You put the sparkle in my eyes, 
I cannot laugh without you, 
You’re what kept me alive; 

You’re the reason I was happy, 
You’re the reason I always smiled, 
You’re the reason for my laughter, 
You’re the reason my life was worth-while; 

You don’t see how much im dying, 
Deep down inside my soul, 
When you left, 
You took a part of me, 
A Part of me I thought id never let go; 

You took a shard of my heart, 
As it broke free from its hold, 
Cutting me inside, 
As I finally let you go; 

My tears are like razors, 
Their cutting me with ease, 
My heart is dark and cold, 
Now that you’ve left me..