Ninja's blog: "Ask the Ninja"

Dear Miss Ninja,
I am in trouble deep! I know you're going to be upset because I was always your little girl
But you should know by now I'm not a baby. You always taught me right from wrong. I need your help, please be strong. I may be young at heart But I know what I'm saying. The one you warned me all about, The one you said I could do without, We're in an awful mess, and I don't mean maybe. Please don't preach, I'm in trouble deep, I've been losing sleep, But I made up my mind. You've guessed it, I'm keeping my baby.

Signed,
miss ciccone

Miss ciccone,

I'm not your papa, so I won't preach. I don't care if you want to keep your kid, I just don't want to be the one paying for it. So as long as you aren't living off my tax-dollars, I'm going to tell you to do what the hell you want. The day I start supplementing your little drunken night spawn is the day I'll start demanding you get off your ass and get a job.