HeedlessBitch's blog: "Temptation, frustration."

Its a sad and disturbing thought that I'm having for the first time in years.. This feeling of lonliness and fear is overwhelming my usual thoughts.. My detachment from others, the hate I feel when I see them, completely turning around on me. I have no friends because of that hate, my family doesnt like me, I cant stand to look in the mirror.. I look at the pictures of my old friends, analyze them from a distance, envying the smiles they have.. They look so happy. And here I sit, alone, remenicing of the times I used to have, regretting the days Ive wasted hating the world..

I went into town today, and tried to have a good time.. my staying away from society has caused a slight case of social anxiety.. I do great with one on ones with certain people, and I thought I would be fine in a crowd.. But when my old friends tried to talk to me I hung my head and avoided eye contact.. Im so used to hiding behind a screen that I can't face the world anymore.. Ive become what I used to mock and hate.. Only a year ago I had too many people in my life to count, I always had someone there.. Then that one fateful day came, and everything turned around.. I started hating, I got angry and irritated.. No one can look at me anymore because I snap when they do.. I dont know whats wrong with me.. Maybe Im just destined to be a hermit....