It was a great weekend. I didn't get to do what I wanted which was to go to aa festival in Boise, ID. I did however get to relax and get some much needed work done. This was the first weekend in a long time that my husband didn't want to go to Twin every day.
I got to see my daughter and granddaughter some on Sunday and that was great. It was one of the best times I have had with them for awhile. No smart ass comments from the teenager and no uptight moments with my kid. I think they are both at a time in their lives where I have to be careful with what i say or it is either taken wrong or I stick my foot in my mouth.
I seem to do this with a lot of people lately. It is not intentional, it just sort of comes out that way. I hate to have to make amends to anyone let alone family. But I get to do it alot lately. Oh well, age does not always bring wisdom. Sometimes just more determination to control and be right.
Today I will start the work of merketing my new job. I hate this part it feels so weird to be out trying to basically sell my services. I read a blog this morning that helped me remember that I chose this career because it is my passion not a job. I love doing what I do as much as I used to love tending bar. They both have the same motivating factor, I get to listen to others and sometimes I can ever offer advice and help. Usually it is me who gets the most out of what I say when I stop to listen.
I have been fortunate enough to have some great things happen in my life lately. I am finding time for me since I can' tdo a lot of running around. I have been given the time to reflect on the true loves in my life. I have been blessed with a couple. Both of which I would have never chosen left to my own devices, so not my type. They ended up being exactly what I needed at that time.
One was the husband I lost due to his choosing Cocaine over us. It is still hard even though it has been almost 14 years now. I look back at all I learned from this and know I do not want to go back to that lifestyle and leave my family due to a chemical.
The other just taught me after my husband died, when I thought there would never be another guy in my life, that I could love again. Now I have been blessed with a companion to spend my life with. My husband now is truely not someone I would have chosen. He is so the opposite of anyone I have ever had in my life. He's my fat boy and I do love him.
OK my fingers have led to a new clarity and things to ponder for the day in my mindless pursuit of peace. Usually happens when I get out of the way and let a wisdom greater than mine run the show. Time to change the title.
Blessings to all, and to me.
