my mom has acted like she hasnt wanted me to do anything but sit around the house all day. we had family time yesterday AND the day before but she wants more family time.
today, we (my sis, jess and i) had a plan to go to the mall. either mom or dad was gonna drive us but dad acted like it was a huge burden because it's the "busiest" day of the year and we probably wouldnt be shopping very long so he'd have to find something to do while we shopped. mom said we could find "casino royale" playing somewhere so we could stop on the way home to see it (a 3:30 or 4 pm showing!). however, maria invites whoever she wants whenever me and her go shoppin but as soon as i invite a friend who lives further away than down the street it suddenly becomes a HUGE deal!
jess had to set up her checking account for her debit card today meaning she wouldnt get to the mall until 1:30 or 2:30 and me and maria had to leave either at 3 or 3:30. i went to ask mom if we HAD to go to a movie tonight and i told her what other plans i had. PLUS jess wanted to wait for george who was gonna call when he got off work. my mom then somehow turns it into a "she's done this to you before!" and "you know jess just wants to wait for her boyfriend!" so somehow it was my fault that i wanted to spend time wit my best friend who i never see or talk to as much as i used to and a boy i connected wit ina friendly manner instead of a random hookup.
i started yelling and gettin madder and my mom i guess really wanted the plan to stick because it wasnt complicated and it was an idea that included her. by the time we would've left, it would've been POINTLESS to be at the mall if the crowds are what people make them out to be. we would've stood in line for anything. i decided i wasnt going anywhere. i even called jess and said i had decided i wasnt gonna go anywhere because it would've been pointless.
my dad tried to be nice to me but i wasnt havin it. my mom just ignored me for the rest of the day. she didnt even try to apologize cuz SOMEHOW it was my fault. it's always my fault. i ALWAYS gave to apologize first cuz she's so perfect and she never starts the fights, she always drops the fight and i never do...bullSHIT. i'm not saying it's all her fault, i'm sayin i shouldnt have to be held responsible for as many fights as i am. i guess it carries on into every fight i have. if you've ever been in a fight with me, dont i blame myself for starting it?
anyway, my mom had been yellin that i'd made a plan wit my sister before i made a plan wit jess so i should go wit my sister. earlier i had mentioned that i had counted out some change and it amounted to $17 that i would give to dad for bills and she gives me a death stare and then looks away. it's not my fault that i wanna get rid of change...is it?
every fight we have ends up being about money and how i'm wasting it. EVERYTHING! i waste money, we should've just poured money down the drain...
my sister gets everything she wants. she got a guitar and i'm 2 yrs waitin for a bass. my sister will prolly get a car before i do...it's just so stupid! if mom doesnt approve then i cant do it and i normally dont. it's just stupid!
i told her that my friend rachel and i had a plan for tomorrow for a movie. my mom started yellin that i still had a plan for going shoppin wit maria and going to a family movie. i said that had been the plan for today but it wasnt a plan for any other day. i said we had had a ton of family time in the past few days and i didnt need more. i said they let maria do wat she wanted but as soon as jess gets involved it's suddenly a huge deal and then i'm stuck here.
IT FUCKIN INFURIATES ME!!!
so now i'm frustrated beyond all reason...wat did i do to deserve a mother like her?
