Another book has closed in my life. Some times friends just need to stay friends. Even though i was hurt for a long while about it, i am really happy to have my friend back. for the first time in my adult life im out dating, scary! I really dont know how but i dont think any one does. but i am having fun with it...why not gotta get out there any ways. right? I tend to try to see the good in anything that happens. with all the time and introspection ive been doing ive really been able to define my happiness. to acknowledge to myself what i need from a partner and what i just will not budge on. I will be some ones priority, i will be loved, cared for and shown afection. I wont be lied to or mislead. i need the squishy lovey dovey, cuddley and the harder side of my desires met. all that wrapped up i need some one that understands the kids come first in my life and will treat them with respect and care for them as well as me. i have also decided that i do still want to have another so that has to be an item on the table for the future. not asking for a lot right? i thought i wasnt but, Im finding that it is very difficult to find some one that will fit my needs. not that im ready to settle right away and all but damn.
in the search though i have found some great people. even some that would be great to grow that bond with. some that only want one thing, and some that want more but dont fit in with what i want. being in a new place, i guess im doing pretty good for meeting new people. interesting though. I still identify with being bisexual, though im not actively seeking that and not looking for that by its self. i have been burned by guys just not so bad to totally go lesbian.
on a different note i dont know what im going to do with my sisters. I think they are going to put my mom in an early grave. in the beginning of jan. my sister was stabbed and choked by her bf...this wasnt the first violence. and guess what, she is back with him. we just cant save her any more even if she was a cat she would be done by now. its killing mom to have to let her go but thats really is what has to happen.
ok well i think that is enough of an update for now...ill add more later when i can think for more than 2 min at a time....as it is it took me 2 hours to do this one.
