I found out last Friday that I have arthritis at 25 and from looks of it Ive had it since i was 20 just no one told me.Yippy.I went to the doc becuz the last few months my hand esp my right one has hurt like hell and i cant open jars or anything any more with my right hand.even writeing this hurts like hell and i have to stop alot and take a break.And after thinking about it,alot of things now make more since.ive been in pain for a long fuckin time and every told me iw as fine.if the docs had just looked closer at my xrays they would have seen it.the doc i have right now thinks they did see just didnt say anything.Great.My hands are slowly become worthless.Theres already things i cant do anymore and its sad.I dont know if ill be ablie to use the computer after some point.I love makeing layouts and designing pages but i dont know if my hands can do it anymore.And me and Dave had been in talks about haveing a baby....cant have a baby if your hands dont work very well now can you? thats the worst part,thats what hurts I want another baby so bad it makes me cry at times.I know i should be thankfull to have Dylan and god i am i so am.I just always thought id have one more,a lil girl maybe.*sigh*I want a baby so much but i dont want to risk something bad happening to me or the baby.that would be wrong and very selfish.Ill cry a few more times and then ill be ok.
