From:http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/BDSMinfo/limits.htm
Scene Negotiations
One of the most important things you can do to maximize a BDSM scene is to master the fine art of scene negotiation. And perhaps the surest way to make a scene go awry is to bypass them entirely.
Negotiating a scene doesn't mean that you approach it as some kind of trade (I'll do this for you if you do that for me!), but rather that you freely and honestly discuss your wants, needs, and expectations with your partner. And it's worth emphasizing that whether you're a dominant top or a submissive bottom, in the context of scene negotiations, you must be equal partners.
There might be a lot of ground to cover, or there might be very little. It all depends on the nature and intensity of the scene. If you're doing a flogging, you'll need to set ground rules as to technique, intensity and duration, and you'll need to establish safewords. You'll need to know of any physical limitations the subject of the flogging might have, what their past experience is, how much pain is pleasurable for them and at what point it becomes distinctly unpleasurable. You might wish to set an approximate time limit, or a certain number of strokes.
Of course, all of this depends on the experience of the players, how well they know each other, and the intensity of the scene they expect. The more intense the scene is to be, the more carefully the limits should be identified. And the less experienced the players are, the more important it is to speak and question freely.
