This section will actually be on performing oral sex and some of the questions i have gotten. so first up is:
Performing Oral Sex on a Male
Fellatio
When it comes to HIV, giving a guy a blow-job was initially thought to be a safe activity. However, developing research over the years shows that it is not. It is a "medium" risk activity and the virus can enter tiny abrasions in the mouth, such as those from brushing your gums and teeth before sex. Play it safe - USE A CONDOM! That has the added benefit of not having to taste the semen.
Start out slowly, touch the penis, stroke, gently grip it in your hand, slowly moving up and down the shaft, getting faster as he becomes aroused. He may be producing lubrication (pre-cum) at this time.
Then kiss, lick and start to suck on the head of the penis. Flick your tongue on the head, then up and down the shaft of the penis. You can also kiss, lick, and suck his testicles while stroking his penis. Now, gently take the head of his penis in your mouth and allow lots of saliva to flow down the shaft of his penis for lubrication. At the same time, you stimulate the shaft with your hand. Go slowly at first, then much faster, still being very gentle because the penis is very sensitive.
We all have a gag reflex at the back of our throat, so if you take his whole penis into your mouth, you will hit your gag reflex and feel like "barfing" So, here's the secret, only take the head into your mouth, co-ordinate hand and head movement into a smooth rhythmic movement. His breathing and body will tell you when he is about to ejaculate. Ask him to indicate what pressure and speed he would like. If you don't want him to ejaculate into your mouth, he should warn you just before he comes. Ejaculate won't hurt you, but it is definitely an acquired taste and many people prefer not to have it in their mouth.
Once he has ejaculated, stop all movement. His penis is super sensitive right then, so just let it rest in peace. He will thank you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
i recently had someone write me with the question:
my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years and i had a great sex life. we are now broken up. i have performed oral sex on him on a regular basis. its not that he prefers it but there are times when i just like to please him. i once told him that he had a bitter taste when he came and i therefore didn't swallow him that time. he is now basing our breakup on that fact. he drinks a lot of coffee and smokes. perhaps i shouldn't have said anything about the bitter taste but we did have an open and honest relationship. i didn't mean it in a bad way about the bitter taste but he took it that way and said it is one of the reasons that he broke up with me. his wife hates sex and has called him a pig and told him he was disgusting when he started to cum. (they have 4 children all in their 30's).
i was wondering if there is any way to get rid of the bitter taste or should have i just kept quiet based on his wifes past performaces. they live in the same house but no longer have sex.
my reply was:
Well, that's a bit of an emotional mess, isn't it! No, you were perfectly correct to say that his cum tasted awful (most of it does), and if he is so shallow that he was offended by that, I say good riddance to him. I mean, really. Does he think his farts smell like roses, too? No, he should have some consideration for you - you're the one who has to swallow it. He could improve the taste by becoming a vegetarian. Meat is the main reason cum tastes bitter. Also, a product called Sweet Secretions works. It makes cum have no flavour at all. I guess you have to decide if he is worth the trouble
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
next up is:
Performing Oral Sex on a Female
Cunnilingus
The key to performing good oral sex on a female is to talk to your partner, check it out with her, what feels good, what she likes and does not enjoy, listen to her breathing patterns and body responses.
Be aware that many females really believe that their genitals are ugly, that they are dirty and that they don't smell very good. They may need reassurance that their genitals are beautiful, unique and a real turn on for you. Sex will be more pleasurable if she is relaxed.
Contrary to popular opinion, the vagina is not where the action is. Anatomically, the clitoris is analogous to a penis, but the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as a penis.
Start slowly, "sensate focus" - hugging, kissing, stroking, petting, fondling, fingering, all great for sexual arousal. Very gently, spread the labia, touch the clitoris very gently. You can feel it become erect and lubrication will be noticeable. You can also stroke around the vaginal opening and very gently penetrate the vagina with your fingers, making sure that this is pleasurable for her.
For oral contact, licking, sucking, kissing and gently blowing on the clitoris is pleasurable. Just remember, be very gentle. Do not blow into the vagina.
At the same time you may wish to stroke around the vaginal opening, mimicking thrusting of the penis. You may wish to use a vibrator or dildo around the vagina or anal area. Talk to your partner.
Many females will reach orgasm with oral genital sexual contact. To be most effective, check with her so you know what really is pleasurable and satisfying.
SAFER ORAL SEX performed on a female will rely on a latex or polyurethane protective covering over her genitals. Sexual Health counselors may recommend a DENTAL DAM. This is a 5 inch square of thin latex used by a dentist. You can purchase them at a drug store, but most people use scissors to simply cut up the side of a latex condom, open it out, place it over her genitals to cover any areas that your mouth may come in contact with.
This is the best protection to prevent her genital herpes infecting your lips, or systemic yeast infection. At present there is some debate about genital warts developing in the digestive track. And there is always the fear of HIV/AIDS infection.
Always think…SAFER SEX.
VENUS BUTTERFLY is a move which I first heard of in an old 1970's soap opera. It is oral sex on her clitoris, manual stimulation inside her vagina and, with the remaining hand, stimulation around her rectum, even penetrating the rectum if that is pleasurable for her. Make sure you use lubrication. This puts a whole new meaning to "getting your act together."
