NTZ's blog: "A Return Of Thought"

Sometimes i get down but i come around like the sun do in the summertime. It's all in my mind. Tired of watching you get yours, so gotta get mines but in the meantime i'm just dozing. Bedtime. No night light, i'm chilling in the darkness. Body in the freezer i'm past cold, i'm heartless. There's no blood flow. So there's no love to show for even all those i have love fo. I just dont know. Is the reason i'm feeling down because no one is ever around and they dont get excited to see me come around. So i dont want to even be me now. Dont want to see me now. So smash all mirrors, watch the glass fall to the ground. Pick a piece up. Cut my fucking wrist up. Wave my arms in the air and be like look Crips, i'm throwing blood up. My sunday morning thoughts make nuns want to throw up. But before that, i bend them over for a butt fuck. I have no nuts, so scared living in my bedroom and the world sucks. So why is my dick the one never getting wet? Yet my dreams flooded from my visions of sex. I guess, i'm so complex that i flex happiness in a depressed vest. Rocking some pessimistic jeans and a sadden hat. Dragging my feet in some suicidal shoes, I guess not living is the choice if killing myself doesnt be what to choose. Fuck trying, I lose. Trying dying is new. Trying to live is killing me anyway, signs say dude you're through! What the fuck is wrong me? Why is it so hard for me to be? I'm already tired of typing this and you dont have to pay me attention. So watch me kill myself for free.