Subliminal's blog: "Subliminal Lies"

marilyn manson.the speed of pain they slit our throats like we were flowers and our milk has been devoured when you want it it goes away too fast the times you hate it always seemed to last just remember when you think you're free the crack inside your fucking heart is me oooh, i want to out race the speed of pain for another day. ooh, i want to out race the speed of pain for another day i wish i could sleep but i can't lay on my back 'cause of the knife for every day that i've known you when you want it it goes away too fast the times you hate it always seemed to last just remember when you think you're free the crack inside your fucking heart is me marilyn manson.the speed of pain they slit our throats like we were flowers and our milk has been devoured when you want it it goes away too fast the times you hate it always seemed to last just remember when you think you're free the crack inside your fucking heart is me oooh, i want to out race the speed of pain for another day. ooh, i want to out race the speed of pain for another day lie to me cry to me give to me i would lie with me die with me give to me i would keep all our secrets wrapped in dead hair always keep all our secrets wrapped in dead hair always lie to me cry to me give to me i would lie with me die with me give to me i would hope that we die holding hands always hope that we die holding hands for always hope that we die holding hands... y'know, really, it's just been one of those months, man... and i'm not entirely sure why, but i could hazzard a guess... it could have something to do with the one year of ash moving in, as everything kinda went to shit then... or, it could have to do with me bottling everything up, and it finally reaching the breaking point. i really don't know, but i really do think i've finally fucking cracked. which is fun, lemme tell you. see, the thing is, i just hate everything and everyone. it's like... it's like... goddamnit, it's my turn to be weak and everyone else is exposing their weakness to me, and it's driving me insane. because everywhere i turn, it's not a rock to hold onto, but silt for me to lose a grip in and go back out to sea. caught in the undertow. maybe that's it... i've just reached that breakinng point, and i'm drowning in a sea of assholes.... who knows and who really gives a good goddamn, right? right. it's not my place to break. i'm needed strong and whole. so i'll do what i do best, just bury this shit deeper and move along to help those who request my aid. it's the way it works, it's the way it's always been.... i just don't really much care anymore. what's done is done, what's said is said. The Inauguration of the Mechanical Christ. This isn't me, I'm not mechanical. This isn't me, I'm not mechanical. This isn't me, I'm not mechanical. This isn't me, I'm not mechanical. Marilyn Manson.Mechanical Animals we're neurophobic and perfect the day that we lost our souls and maybe we weren't so human but if we cry, we will rust and i was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding you were automatic and as hollow as the 'o' in god i'm never gonna be the one for you i'm never gonna save the world from you they'll never be good to you, bad to you they'll never be anything, anything at all you were my mechanical bride phenobarbiedoll a mediqueen of depression with the face of a dead star and i was a hand grenade that never stopped exploding you were automatic and as hollow as the 'o' in god i'm never gonna be the one for you i'm never gonna save the world from you they'll never be good to you, bad to you they'll never be anything, anything at all i'm never gonna be the one for you i'm never gonna save the world from you this isn't me, i'm not mechanical i'm just a boy, playing the suicide king playing the suicide king i'm just a boy playing the suicide king y'know, the truth of the matter is, i know where i'm going... the same place i was a few years back... that ... clockwork orange... that... mechanical animal. the beast that could not feel and did not give a fuck... and while it's a little scary, it's a little relieving... because i'd rather be immune to emotion than bleeding loneliness... see, that's the thing, i don't have any friends. not a single real! tangible! friend... not one. all i have... is my music, movies, my books, my story (ha ha!), and my weird li'l internet friends. the ones i'll never meet, never touch. the ones that wouldn't even notice if i ate a fucking bullet. and it kinda sucks. oh, and people say to do something about it, which i'd love to. don't get me wrong. i wish i could stand the drunkards and dullards, but there is a simple truth: i'm too smart for the people of this state, and the majority of this country. i blame my parents. they taught me to think, to engage my brain, and to question. "believe none of what you hear, and only half of what you see." they taught me, and i learned it well, because i take NOTHING at face value. i question EVERYTHING. and sometimes, i wish i could just shut my fucking brain off. but i can't, and i'm damned to process thoughts. funny thing is, when i have a distraction (even an intangible one), i'm okay. it's just nights like these, when no one is the fuck around, that i think too bloody much for my own good, and i contemplate the consequences of just taking 10 seconds and reaching for the .45 on the table next to me... and just saying fuckitall. because, really, i'm sick of it. sick to death. sick of being nothing. sick of being invisible. sick of getting fucked in the ass, without so much as a "fuck you very much." another basic truth: everyone walks away. sometimes it's a matter of days, sometimes it's years, but they always walk away. well, you grow away from one another, which is whatever. true, more or less. people grow and evolve, even if it's just a little bit, and the pieces no longer fit, but that's not the thing. the thing is, people are unreliable. they expect you to be there for them, but when you need them, they're nowhere to be fucking found.... "...how could i ever think it's funny how everything you swore would never change is different now like you said you and me make it through didn't quite fell apart where the fuck were you?" what the hell does any of this really matter? not like anyone'll fucking read this... too long. people are too fucking stupid to process anything longer than a 30 second commercial break. but such is life. fuck 'em. fuck 'em all. fuck it all.