I got called an angel today so yeah I am feeling a little high and mighty. But I am also just tired. For every one thing that goes right a million other things go wrong. I have such thin skin. I feel maybe more than others... I definitely care more. I take what someone says literally and seriously. I don't mind a two-way street. In fact I prefer it but why does it always seem like my side of the street is paved with potholes and garbage? Right now someone's thoughtless words have me feeling like everything is going away from me. What an awesome power that person has. To make me feel like shit and not even care about it... kudos to you.
But that is just one person! So why am I hung up on it? Because even though I have some annoying qualities, I still cannot deal with the annoying qualities of others. I see the good. I appreciate the good. But just a spoonful or in this case a fucking gallon of badness can swallow the good and make it... nothing at all. Just because the word love is present does not mean I am going to ignore the bullshit. And there is so much of it!
I hate bullshit because it causes me to think furiously. And then I make rash decisions. But maybe that will be for the better in this case. You don't have to hold my hand in the street anymore. I can cross blindfolded and still make it. Your palms are sweaty and make me feel... too many things. This may all be swept under the rug soon but I will never forget it. Watch me smile, hear me laugh, breathe easy. Pull your false sense of security and satisfaction around you tight. But I will not forget.
I still love you... that is probably why it hurts so much. Too bad you don't even give the slightest bit of a damn.
