A man has stepped forward in Texas, claiming to be the love child of JFK, and his beauty queen mother. I don’t find this huge news. I do find it incredible that this hasn’t happened more often. The poster boy for cocksmiths in power, and it was the era of free love, so I’m guessing not many condoms were used in the day. So how did JFK not have a slew of chowder eaters throughtout the US?
I’m guessing, despite his Catholicism, there are women who were either paid off, or they did an extensive study in abortion back in the day. His brother, RFK, was no better. But he was shot before he could take a chance at being the horniest president ever.
Speaking of Robert Kennedy, there is a theory that there was a second gunman involved in his assassination. I find this hard to believe. When he was shot, it was so jampacked with people, that if there was, someone would have been hit, or he would have been spotted. I love a good conspiracy, especially when they make sense, but this one is out there. That and the fact that its over 40 years later, and it just came up.
Just so you know, Incubus won the Q101 March Music Madness, beating out Avenged Sevenfold. Once again, I can understand Avenged Sevenfold being in the finals. Q101 is geared towards the youth of Chicago, and as Moochie will tell you, they rock. But how the hell did Incubus win? Can ANYONE explain that to me?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad Tool and NIN didn’t win again. But of the field, they were my 8th seed. Hell, Avenged was a 5th seed at best. Maybe its true, maybe I am getting old. Or, quite possibly, maybe they’re IDIOTS!
Hillary has moved into the lead slightly, but has also hinted that she wouldn’t be opposed to being Obama’s vice president. I like the fact she’s covering all her bases. I’m opposed to this, because that may be enough to get them in office, and that’s a small victories for hippies everywhere. If Hillary was smart, she’d talk Bill into being her vice president. To be honest, I’m not sure if he can, but it would be a smart move on her part. I think she knows that if she did, she’s a target just waiting for a bullet. Vote McCain for a better America folks, trust uncle Jay.
Dutchie Carey is mad at a company for using a voice impersonator of her husband Harry. She says that it makes him look like a buffoon. I take issue with this, for a few reasons. First and foremost, they had to go thru his estate, also known as Dutchie Carey, or her advisors, for the right to use his voice impersonation, or his image.
Two, Harry was a drunken buffoon for the last half of his career, or as I like to call it...the Cub years. Harry was awesome as a broadcaster for the Sox, with Jimmy Piersall, but by the tim he hit the Cubs, he was phoning it in, and whoring for cash. And Cub fans lapped it up, because they’re dumb enough to put up with losing for 100 years, they were dumb enough to put up with his half ass commentary for the years he did it.
Before you Cub fans take issue with this, let me say two words...Ron Santo. This "Future Hall of Famer" as Pat Hughes is paid to say, was horrible as an announcer, and you fools lapped it all up, and believe that he’ll make the HOF. Unless he buys a ticket, he’s not going in.
He was a little above average in his era. His team was a loser, so it’s percieved that its easier to produce with no pressure. He already had 3 teammates in, and 4 is pushing it for a loser team. He was an ass, a showboat, and a drunk. The veterans committee remembers stuff like this.
Madonna made it into the rock and roll HOF. Why? Unless they have a video wing, she’s another one who should only get in with a ticket. There are a few bands in there who shouldn’t be. And she is on the head of my list. But her sales were good, and she was smart enough to reinvent herself a few times, and found producers who could write her hits, so there she is.
When I overthrow Cleveland, I shall take over the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and boot out who I don’t feel is deserving, and enshrine my classic bands. Here is who is in.
The Beatles...how can you not?
The Rolling Stones...their early stuff was great!
Chuck Berry...The true king of rock and roll
Les Paul...wouldn’t be rock without him
Scotty Moore...great guitar for Elvis (who doesn’t get in, because he was a kaoroke singer)
The Who...I think they were the beginning of punk
The Kinks...overlooked in so many ways, great songs, were together a long time
The Police...had tons of hits, albums solid thru and thru...and my favorite band growing up
The New York Dolls...best punk band EVER out of New York
The Sex Pistols...changed the face of music, despite one album
Barry Gordy...he came up with Motown
Stevie Wonder...a prodigy, and was great as a kid
Rick James...he was a SuperFreak man, and HUGE until he smoked crack
Van Halen...massive at one time, with the greatest frontman of all time
Queen...Scott May needs to be in, and Freddie Mercury could challenge DLR of greatest frontman of all time.
Beastie Boys...despite the fact that they will be the only rap act in my HOF, they started as a punk band, and played their own instruments
Black Sabbath...the first really heavy band
Slayer...huge following, leader of the genre...still...and released an EP titled Fuck You
Black Flag...the voice of West Coast Punk, and Henry Rollins scares me...still
Dead Kennedys...why did they question everything...because they could, and it made sense when they did, but it took some research
Prince...I looked in his eyes once, and was gay for 10 seconds
Ministry...he’s my reason to keep NIN out, and he did write "Jesus built my hotrod"
Nirvana...first grunge band to hit it really big
Pearl Jam...very consistant, and second best band of their era
REM...not a huge fan, but can’t deny their catalog
Alice In Chains...name one bad song they wrote...exactly
Metallica...I know, I hate them...but they did have their moments, and were huge for awhile, till people saw what asshats they were.
Pink Floyd...droning crap, but brought in the art band genre
Grateful Dead...damaging to the soap industry, songs way too long, and have kept hippies around forever...but they deserve it, because excellent musicians
Violent Femmes...Still rocking the college crowds after 25 years.
Steve Vai, Joe Satriani, Billy Sheehan., Flea..the premier players of their time
Motley Crue...without them, 80’s metal would have never taken off...a curse and a blessing
Tom Petty...I love his voice, great songs for years, started out as a strip club band
Aerosmith...despite selling out at the end, great in concert, and good for a long time
KORN...a leader in their genre, and never really copied right
Green Day...I’m KIDDING, I wouldn’t let them in with a ticket
There are more, but my mind is slipping with age. The following will never get into my HOF
Green Day...Posers
Smashmouth...catchy
Dokken..okay, they were never considered, but I like bashing them
Elvis...he’s famous for dancing, and forcing other people into signing over their songs to him, and being a pedophile, and dying on a toilet, and being a junkie...did he ever sing?
Smashing Pumpkins...they had some good songs, but alot of crap too
Radiohead...Creep was great, and Bodysnatchers is good, but really, name another song that everyone would know
Strawberry Alarm Clock...I can’t even get Schwill to learn Incense and Peppermints
Poison...lets face it, 80’s metal was catchy, but deep down...it really sucked
Cheap Trick...Maybe, but just don’t do it for me, but they did write the theme to "That 70s Show"
Rage Against the Machine...I like their stuff, but they’re mighty preachy, and support a cop killer.
Red Hot Chili Peppers...Early stuff too weird, newer stuff commercial crap
Bob Dylan...He may be reconsidered as a songwriter, but as a performer...nah
Bruce Springsteen...see above, but not as good a songwriter...a bar band to me
Jimmy Buffet...will be shot on site
Meatloaf...I hope he’s standing next to Buffet
Led Zepplin...stole half their songs, but on the cusp, because of what they did off the stage.
Tool...as overrated as NIN
NIN...as averrated as Tool
