1. If your doctor told you TODAY that you were pregnant, what would you say?
Oh god exactly how damaging is Jager?
2. Do you trust all of your friends?
Are you sure I have friends?
3. Would you move to another state or country to be with the one you love?
Fuck no they are brining their happy asses to me
4. Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
If not I can sure as hell make a reason later
5. Name two things you would NOT tolerate in a relationship?
~1. Farm animals (don’t question it just accept it)
~2. The refusal to hide bodies for me
6. Which one of your friends do you think would make the best doctor?
Shit we can all be doctors we all got some people to deal with
8. Are you afraid of falling in love?
Am I hitting concrete ?
9. Is there someone who pops into your mind at random times?
Yes, but we will not discuss that due to the fact that the order has not been lifted yet
10. Would you stop talking to your friends because you hooked up with a new person?
Can’t I just invite them to join?
11. When was the last time you flew in a plane?
When was the last time I drove a plane?
12. What did the last text message you sent say?
NO a fucking monkey and a tortilla get it straight
13. What features do you find most attractive in the opposite sex?
A mouth that only opens when I want it to and can replace batteries quicker than the speed of lightening
14. Fill in the blank. I like _______
Strippers
15. What is a goal you would like to accomplish in the near future?
I’m thinking about hunting humans for sport soon
16. If you were to wake up from being in a coma for an extended time who would you call?
As if my friends would let me last for any extended time in a coma, they’d find a way to kill a bitch let me tell ya
17. How many kids do you want to have?
None and that counts the one I have (highest bid gets him . . . .anyone, anyone?)
18. Would you make a good parent?
Well the boy is still alive
19. Where was your default picture taken?
On my couch dammit and it is no one’s business what was going on
20. Whats your middle name?
BITCH
21. Honestly, what's on your mind right now?
I bet I could beat down Dr. Phil and only Oprah would be upset
22. If you could go back in time and change something, what would it be?
Hmm, oh yeah there are so many naked people flashing into my mind now
23. Shoe size?
Just take me with you to make sure they fit
24. What are you wearing right now?
Clear heels and a popsicle that’s right a cherry one at that
25. Righty or Lefty?
Stuck in the middle
26. Can you make a dollar in change right now?
Even Jesus could only turn water into wine dammit nothing with cash
26. Best place to eat?
My pants
27. Favorite jeans?
The ones you are taking off of me
28. Favorite animal?
Human male
29. Favorite juice?
Human
30. Have you had the chicken pox?
Hmmm, pox pox pox, exactly what is pox?
31. Have you had a sore throat?
I told him to not thrust so hard dammit
32. Ever had plastic surgery?
I want paper surgery because I want to be biodegradable
33. Who knows you the best?
The hooker on the corner of Main and Center
34. Do you get along with your family?
Get along were?
35. Do you wear contact lenses or glasses?
Have we met?
36. Ever been in a fight with your pet?
Yep he gets an attitude and I have to knock his ass back down - gonna put him on e-Bay: slightly used 12 year old male good for child labor and entertainment
37. Been to Mexico?
Been in a Mexican does that count
38. Did you buy something today?
Human
39. Did you get sick today?
What type of sick
40. Do you miss someone today?
Yep I got pissed and left last night and I haven’t seen myself since
41. Did you get in a fight with someone today?
That was last night, I screamed at myself for leaving the porn on pause instead of stopping it and I stomped out and haven’t been back since
42. When is the last time you had a massage?
What year is this?
43. Last person to lay in your bed?
How loosely are we defining person here
44. Last person to see you cry?
Fuck tears they are not worth my effort
45. Who made you cry?
They have been taken care of
46. What was the last TV show you watched?
I only watch porn nowadays
47. What are your plans for the weekend?
PORN lots of PORN
48. Who do you think will repost this?
Oh as if
49. Are you happy ?
Are you dead?
50. Who was the last person you hung out with?
Parts of me are always hanging out
