True Friendship
None of that Sissy Crap
Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card-just the stone cold truth of our great friendship.
1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard, or bi-otch, who made you sad.
2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
3. When you smile -- I will kn ow you finally got laid.
4. When you are scared --Iwill rag on you about it every chance I get.
5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be... until you quit whining.
6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.
7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask; "because you are my friend".
Send this to all 10 of your friends,
then get depressed because you can only think o f<> 4.
Friendship is like peeing your pants, everyone can see it,
but only you can feel the true warmth.
And always remember....when life hands you Lemons, ask for tequila and salt.
