Mandy's blog: "HOW YOU ARE IN BED!"

I'll never get to see you grow up, you'll never be able to ask my why, i don't know if you were a boy or girl, yet every day i cry. I wonder what your name would have been, what would you grow up to do? You never got that chance, I'm sorry I couldn't help you. Everyday I imagine your face, who you would be, its all my fault, all because of of me. I wish I could have saved you, I would have gave my life to try, now i sit here in tears, wondering why. My baby, my love how i miss you so, I wish I had the chance to meet you, I would have gave my life to know. Now your in my thoughts, my dreams of every day. I wish I could have saved you. I'll be punished one day. For its my fault i couldn't save you, if I only knew how, I would have traded my world so you could know it now. I long for the day to meet you, I want it to come soon, my baby, I love you, I hope to meet you soon. It makes me even more sad I never got to pick your name, never will know if you would grow up to be fortune or full of fame. I'm sorry you never got the life meant for you, my heart is full of sadness dreaming of you. Maybe u would have been a good mother or a dad, dreaming of the grandchildren I wish I could have had. You have a sister, and a brother to, they would have loved you as much as I love you. Again I'm sorry for the dreams you will never live, just know that I will love you for all I never did. I wish i could have seen you grow up, the smile on your face, when your two years old shoving your birthyday cake all over the place. Three years old on your first day of school, wondering, so young, will you ever be that cool. Kindergarden, your first day with out me, when you come home that day from second grade winning your first spelling bee. These dreams I have of a child I'll never know, sadder and sadder as the days continue to grow. One day you would have grown up, looking at me with a smile, knowing I wasn't perfect but it was all worth the while. I'm sorry you never knew knew your brother your sister, your smile, I picture it everyday, hoping in heaven its worth your while. Again I'm never sorry, for the person I never knew, just know everyday I'm thinking of you. Your always in my thoughts and in my dreams, my baby, my love, my sadness I can never redeam.