Yesterday was my appointment with the vascular surgeon. He has decided that I need to see a plastic surgeon to put some artificial skin over the area. My answer to him....not gonna happen. Why would you put artificial skin over an area that you can't stop infection in? Two doctors have already said that nothing is going to grow there until they can figure out what the actual problem is.
Anyway, I am taking matters into my own hands. Now waiting for phone calls from 3 different doctors. I mean somebody has got to do something. I spent all day yesterday crying and am feeling myself slipping deeper and deeper into this depression thing. This is not the life I normally live and it is driving me insane.
I have tried everything the doctors have told me to try plus some and right now I am basically at my wits end. I am apologizing to you now because I am not myself. I am not very talkative and I do go off the bitch end quiet quickly, but I am in a level of pain right now that I can't begin to explain. It's at the point that I can't stand for my blanket to even touch my foot. I've always been pretty good at keeping the smile and laugh going through the pain but I am being honest with my friends now. I am tired, mentally and physically and I just can't keep the front up right now. I hope that you will all forgive me in advance and try to understand.
Love to you all,
Mary
