Okay.... if my life interests any of you people, you'll more than likely either be amused, or feel sympathy or just dispise what I say. And NO I dont want a pity party. So here goes. My day was good, starting out... went by the shop to see Rob Jarrett (he now works for Hart and Huntington Tattoo Studios in Orlando FLA, if any of you need some ink, btw, he's AWESOME) anywho, went to see him b/c he's in town right now, I love him to death.... Chatted with Brandy and the guys at the shop... whom I am good friends with.... I get a call as I'm leaving heading to the hell hole.... it's my mom, and she's hysterical.... okay not really hysterical but she's upset. I could tell by her tone she'd been crying. She tells me my sister wasnt talking to her anymore, explained into detail why, and said that my sister hung up on her, and wouldnt answer anymore of her calls. YAY for me, I get to hear it from both sides now... I'm not the best at being the "middle-man" because either way, I'll piss one or the other off b/c I just dont give a fuck. I'll let you peeps in on a little insight, possibly a short verison of my life. Then the whole my sister thing not talking to my mom may make more sense.
Growing up, I lived in a household that kept things inside the house. My 'dad' beat the shit out of my mom, ever since I can remember. No one talked about it. (and what's sad is to this day my "sperm donor" denies ever hitting her, he's just slapped her a couple times) I have 2 siblings, both older, I dont get along with my brother...never have for that matter, but if any of the kids would try to tell my SD's parents they would say we were lying. Well, we got older, of course, and if any of us tried to step in on a fight or threaten to call someone who would do something about the beatings it would only make him more furious and he'd get all the phones. My brother stepped in one time, and he ended up with a black eye, and lots of bruises.. 2 weeks after I turned 18 (since I'm the youngest) my SD decided it was time for a divorce... bad part on him, I was there when he decided to tell my mom, after the fact he'd pushed her down on the floor and told him he hated the ground she walked on, didnt love her, wish she were dead, and hadnt loved for in over 3 years. I got up, picked up a knife and told him to fucking go, no one wanted him around anyway. My mom in denial at the time was yelling at me, b/c I had enough. I told him he shouldnt have waited to ask for a divorce, that it was b/c he didnt want to pay child support, in which he disagreed. Anyway, it was a messy divorce but the bastard had what was coming to him. He ended up being out more money than he wanted to... plus lost 3/4 of his retirement. Now, on to the better stuff. My SD left my mom, for a girl who was 2 years older than my brother. Which made her 5 years older than me. That bitch done took the rest of his fucking money which he deserved. Now he's with some lady who looks as old as my grandmother. Anyway, I guess it's bad to find some things amusing, but I think it's all a JOKE myself. I mean, I hate my mom, myself and my siblings went through it, but it made me the person I am today. My SD laid his hand on me one time. I was 15 y/o and he slapped me across my face, I told him it was the last time he'd ever lay a hand on me, and it was. I dont speak to him, or that side of my "family." (I'm the black sheep b/c my thoughts on the whole parents get divorce situation)
I have however exchanged several emails with him, only to be the "better" person. I've forgiven him for all the bad things he's done. I just cant forget, in which I've told him. And I've said plenty for him to know exactly what I think of him, down to calling him low, that him being with Amy was like fucking his own daughter... I wasnt nice, and I called him everything in the book. He say's "I'm a changed man" People like that dont change. Not when you do something for 24+ years. Everyone has a certain mentality about things. For instance, where I grew up in an abusive home, I could either take abuse with a partner or anyone else, or be totally against it. (I'm sure you can guess... I'm against it) My sister however, takes it. Her last relationship, her b/f stuck a knife to her chest and told her if she left he'd stick it in her... tried choking her and busted her lip and chin... that night I was suppose to have made sure they got up to do a paper route...I got no answer on the phone so I went to their apartment. Only one car was there (the other was in the shop) and I see my sister walking around the corner crying. I tell her to get in and I drive off. She explains to me what had happened, and I go off. I told her she needed to not worry about him, I'll have it taken care of myself, and he'll be sorry. I made her get a order of protection, and we moved her out 2 days later. I havent seen her ex since before this had happened, and havent seen him yet.... but there are people looking for him.... lol
Now, I'm personally, not a volatile person, unless majorly provoked. But I do know people who like to be known. So the moral is my sister takes abuse, instead of being against it. Now, back to the whole my sister isnt talking to my mom thing. My mom went to the SD's family reunion, which technically, isnt her family now, but when you've been in a family for 26 years, your family, divorced or not. My mom likes geneology, she's been doing it for years and years.... Now, reunions only happen once a year, people die, have kids... yearly... so in order for her to be able to keep up, she still attends that side's reunion. A statement made to my mom from my sister was "Your not a Dougherty anymore, you dont need to be here" umm... right... but technically, her b/f isnt one either, nor anyone who's married into a family is either by blood.... b/c if that were the case it'd be incest, which would mean inbreeding, and thoughts of things that make me wanna puke. So, if my mom isnt a "Dougherty" by the years she actually was married to one, then only people with that last name should attend. So fail to mention I'm the middle person for a battle they dont really want me in on. My mom kept calling me telling me not to call my sister and say anything, hell, I dont plan on calling her, her ass can call me. And then, it's hard telling what may or may not be said.
I know that a mothers love is unique and irreplaceable, but hell, if my sister is gonna be a bitch about it, then my mom should be thankful she's not "talking to her anymore" I dont talk to my SD. I'm fine minus a few issues I have with myself with the male gender.
So yep.... that's 1/2 my life and one whole day wrapped all into one long blog. So. I just wanted to vent, let you peeps know, some days are just shitty, when others could be the best. I'm not perfect... and by no means will I ever be perfect. I'm just me. Writing things like this is easier for me to do than actually telling them vocally... I dont tend to share feelings well with others. (which reverts to childhood) haha Thank God I'm on meds now ... HAHA.... You peeps have a good one. I'll be sure to blog again soon.
~Moe~ Out
