on april 27 i moved to bad axe. three days b4 that me and mom snuck out on will. she said she was done with him. later that nite i saw shawn and he hit me up for 5$ (he owes me like 30) and he started tellin me, hit me up so we can hang b4 u leave. he kept coming up with excuses. day i was to leave, he tells me "call ill b up" he wasnt even home. i was hurt, all i was to him was $$ and a gurl to use. but as the miles between us grew i cared less and less. but i did still care. when i got here, i wrote him. its been almost two weeks and nothing. FUCK HIM!!! as ive said b4 i will NEVER regret him, but now i must move on. i then found out that 2 days after i left, mom went back to will. at first i didnt get it and thought "i cant worry about htat nemore its killing me". but then i realized that she did exactly whut she said she wanted to do, get me away. in the past, to scare my mom will told her that if she left he would come after me. and when i recently askd her y she stayed she said she wanted to make sure i was safe and somewhere he couldnt get me. then she would take care of herself. now that i am out of that picture, i can only pray that she survives and doesnt end up in jail. i cant do nething for her right now and that kills me, but i need to b able to take care of myself b4 i can even think aobut helpin someone else. being here hasnt been exactly peachy. i feel even more alone and i realize i left when i didnt need to, but im here i am, and probly for a while. then i started trading emails with punk again, which was nice cuz he's always sucha sweetheart to me. and his goofy ass can always make me alugh. we even talkd on th ephone,w hich hadnt happend in AGES (lol). but then i got "i gotta go ill call u back later". that was tues nite. now as much as id like to over-analize that, i wont. im tryin SO HARD not to b that person nemore. and i guess this is my first test. i jsut need to quit expecting things from people, and just concentrate on my lyfe. cuz its the only thing that i have ne control over.
