Here's to all of us who live in Minnesota , some born and raised here. Some got here as fast as they could and others who would
like to be from Minnesota. This is the best version of this that I have
seen. Not sure if all of them apply to everyone, but . . . .
Rules of Minnesota :
1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. You say our lakes smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it.
4. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have
$250,000 combines that are driven only 3 times a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called
being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of ducks are coming in,
we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you
don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat walleye & northern pike and love it. You
really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the pound of
ham & turkey.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats,vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: Onion,
Pepper, and Garlic!
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown,
wet,and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she
better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a hell of a lot more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards --it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? Try St. Olaf, Concordia, or St. John's . They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country,
and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the
holidays.
16. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines, than any other state, so "Don't screw with Minnesota ." If you
do, you will get whipped by the best.
Minnesota is the greatest state ever!!
