Dear Cookie Monster,
Recently I wrote a letter to your aquaintance Big Bird, Voicing my concern about his suspicious activites involving a certain 'friend' of his.
Today im writing to you to voice some concerns that myself and your friends on Sesame Street have about you.
Its time to wake up Cookie and recognize that you have a problem.
Cookies have consumed you my furry blue friend. All you talk about is cookies. How many you have, when you can get more, what kind they are, how big or small. We are worried about you Cookie, you seem to prowl around Sesame street looking for your next fix, the kids on the street are afraid to carry their Oreos or chocolate chip cookies on them, in the fear that you might jump them on the street.
The final straw was last week when there was a robbery at Hoopers store and on site they found a scruff of blue fur. We know it was you Cookie, The surveillance cameras caught you as you picked up your bad of money and ran out the back door.
Then last night, Maria was on her way home from the fix it shop and saw you in the back alley on your knees blowing that Keelbler Elf while he held that box of cookies over your head. His grunts echoing up and down the alley while he taunted you, She said she would never forget the words he spoke to you..."Thats it Cookie Monster, take all that big hard Keelber cock and you'll get your cookies....Do a good job and you'll get your reward you little blue bitch."
She was mortified Cookie to learn the depths of your depravity, To see just what you would do for your next cookie score.
This has gone too far Cookie, your friends are really concerned about you. We can tell when you are high because of your eyes Cookie, they no longer stare straight ahead, and often they are glassy and unfocused when your on one of your cookie 'trips'. And this has been the norm lately.
They dont want to find you dead one day, your cute furry little blue face submerged in a puddle of cookie vomit.
First you have to admit you have a problem Cookie...First you have to admit you need help.
Please Cookie Monster, for the love of god, Before its too late!
Signed,
Christina
and your worried friends from Sesame Street
