I find that I have nothing left to hide behind, made to feel everything from the past few months when I don't want to feel anything.
I'm alone. Feeling like I have no one, and honestly, I did it to myself. Just another self distructive year. Just me pushing away everyone. Like always. And no one can last, no one ever lasts. I make sure of that. I hide everything that is real and show people what I'm not. Show them thier worst fears. It must be believable, because they always leave. The only ones that are ever left are the ones that truely know me, and I just ignore them. I hope that if I push enough, if I have no one left, then maybe I can disappear and no one will notice. No one will care.
I just want to disappear...so I don't have to feel so alone...so I don't have to feel this pain anymore...
