Wrote this awhile ago, maybe 2 months or so, it's in another blog but deserves to be on it's own.
Your sweetness overpowers me at times.
There is this sweetness
That comes over you and me
At the right moments
That makes my toes curl
That makes my heart leap
That makes my head spin
This part of me
I’ve kept hidden
For so long I could not
Let it show, I had this mask
This mask I hate
It keeps the truth in, and shows only the fraud.
You help me take that
Mask off, with your words
With the way you hold me
With the way you touch me
This mask needs to be shattered
And destroyed, and never placed back on.
But I’m scared, I’m scared of
You seeing the real me
You seeing all the imperfections
You already see the hate I have for myself
You already see through the bullshit
You cut through it so easily
I want to be imperfect with you
I want to be kind
I want to be patient
I want to be with you
I want to hear you say those sweet things
To me day after day
I need you to see me for who I really am
I need you to see me
Naked, imperfect, happy, sweet
I want you to see all my flaws
And still want to hold me
And still want to have me.
I am not who I used to be
And with you I can be who I
Really am, you don’t want perfection
I want bumps in the road
I want the fights, I want the laughter
I want to be your world, and I want you to be mine
I want to listen to love songs
And only think about you
Tell you I love you when I see you
Tell you I miss you when I am away from you
Tell you how you in my life makes my existence so much better
Tell you how much you mean to me.
But we are not there yet,
We may never get to that point
We may realize that we are better
Off with the way things were
You being you, and me being me
I so don’t want that
All I want is you
I don’t need huge diamonds
I don’t need huge houses
I don’t need a lot these days
I want to hear you say goodnight first
I want to say good morning first.
You already are my first and
Last thoughts of the day
You have been for a long time
I used to wake up, in tears
Tears for you, tears for myself
For knowing what an idiot
I was for so long,
For not telling you when I could have
What I felt about you
What I could see as my future
It was not a long future
But a nice one at least
My tears have stopped falling
They are replaced with smiles
I smile knowing you are smiling
Thinking about me, and us
Thinking about seeing me and you again
You touch my soul
I could make any song about you
You and I
I will always be on my feet
You just help me get on them quicker
You help me see what I can be
I am prepared to bleed
I am prepared to leave
I am prepared to be left
I don’t want to, I don’t know
How long it would take to get back on my feet
How long I would lay in my bed alone
Crying, wishing you were there to dry my tears.
This is the beginning
No end in sight for me
No need for one
Just taking this one day
Trying to be happy with what is
Happy with the thought of what might be.
