XJimmyVonJamesX's blog: "Lost in the Dark"

We fell from the heights of the highest heaven. Surrounded in red plummeting through the lower heavens, as a comet streaking across the sky, we flew past galaxy after galaxy in and out of time itself. I could feel the lines blurring as my soul began to be stripped away layer by layer barring all my strength I could not close my eyes. We fell.

Streaking through the atmosphere with a speed unparalleled in technology we landed on crashed or exploded perhaps a bit of it all into the side of the cascade mountain range the mountain that was there used to be called saint Helens. Locals mistook our crash for a volcanic eruption in which perhaps the mountain was about to go but we didn’t help.

When the smoke cleared we were there standing in a wasteland trees we scattered as if they were but a child’s toys I took a deep breath of air into my lungs staring into her eyes I gave in I could still feel her in my mind… I never wanted her to leave.  Our lips met for a moment, perhaps it was a century I know not, I cared not. When I opened my eyes we were transported to a room far away, we might have walked there but it didn’t matter.

I felt different, yet I still cannot describe the change other than a subtle shift in almost every aspect and others not so subtle. I was changed I could feel it. Breath came yet was unneeded. When did I last eat? Looking at her there laying on the bed her sleeping form, a pale softness amid the sheets I surrendered once again to her arms.

It was something akin to that feeling of clarity right before death, I was staring off the precipice I could almost imagine that one more step in any direction would certainly be the last. Looking over the edge I think I secretly longed for the plunge and in the back of my thoughts was always her.

 I looked around and rubbed my eyes I had been going somewhere but just the idea of it seemed so long ago since... I was clearly having trouble yet I was powerless to stop the current any more then a fish could change the direction of the stream, I was free to swim yet stuck within the confines of my own prison.  

"You and your mental ramblings I do wonder" ... I laughed. "you love every minute and you know it!" The couple walking on the other side of the street and an old lad.y walking her dog heard my rant into thin air and smiled.  as was her fashion the object of my speech whisked me away into thin air.

It was an odd feeling every time, a weightless disintegration of being, descending into nothing and becoming something again all in an instant of shadows. every time she was there a connected feeling of being one amid the darkness. 

Again I feel the ache inside my chest, the longing for something more then what was destined to be, or was it so? Could a man re-write his fate? was there such a thing at all? perhaps it was luck, fate, chance or even a higher power but in that moment looking over the edge I knew the truth not fate, but the undeniable truth of it all was only that I was incontinent with the situation in total. 

I could feel the wind and the cold bite of her in my brain and through my neck, falling... draining, the life that once was stripped away layer by layer being replaced with something more, the burning to the core struck me with the weight of a sledgehammer plummeting into the darkness I screamed a silent scream of ecstasy and pain.

I suppose through it all I always wanted to believe her, yet here I was half-way playing both sides. Not necessarily by choice mind you, however constrained through deeper ties then my will alone could allow my mind to travel, except for imagination. Who knows how much the council already knew they were by nature a suspicious entity, and I wasn't a picture of... well you get the idea. 

The hours lapse into days and weeks. She was a prisoner of the council. or so they thought I was sure she was right where she wanted to be for all the while she would be at my side. could she read my mind? I think about her lips only to find her appear amid reality only to my eyes. or was it so? I am still not sure if it was only me or if perhaps she was just that good. to pick a side of the war for me a t this point felt unwise I don't know if I wished her to disappear or not. am I addicted to the crazy? at least it fills the silence.

then I feel her sweet whisper into my conscience "I could change your all in an instant yet you wish to tarry here concerned with this dust I shall never understand you." If I weren't my twisted complex self would you be so fascinated? or would you leave me for time to unravel?  hot and yet cold as ice her breath upon my neck the sensation washes over me like a wave of euphoria only experienced by helpless romantics and hard drugs. half biting my neck yet not piercing the skin on the base of my neck running to mid shoulder. I felt the air leave her lungs as she moved her hands across my waist she transposed her will to mine for a moment.

The wave I had though earlier was nothing to compare with what came over me in that moment. I couldn't say in words more a flood of emotion centuries of lust, remorse, regret, with the happiest of times as well, yet behind a exterior of contentment I could feel her saddened heart grating on my soul. leaving a resounding ache in my chest. I think I may have hit the ground, Instead I was held aloft my her rigid strength the statuesque grip of a lover frozen in time.

I felt the wind lift way from the weight off my toes, as we floated above the hazy skyline of dusk, the sun, Orange and big its last breath before night splayed out along the horizon for a moment locked in her embrace I wondered if it was real. "as real as forever" was the resounding reply amid the flow of my conscience.

I suppose my initial thought was that I was in fact going insane. "I wounder if I should tell someone?" the others would put me in therapy for a year before I saw a hint of daylight. Then I really would go crazy. as if on cue the velvety voice ringing in my ears out of the ether whispered softly into my left ear. "if you don't do something soon I may have to come find you myself... Until then perhaps I shall leave you to your insanity?" a strange longing that I cant describe except akin to that of a piece of yourself being chained and locked in a box an emptiness sank into my head for the first time in a week I felt... empty.  then it happened.

I was in my apartment about to check my Fubar messages and update my status from "Is it love or Utter Insanity" to something a bit more normal. These types of status remarks generally bring the devils out of the woodwork, not that I minded, I suppose they are awfully entertaining to talk to, perhaps just as insane as me.  I saw the glimpse of a shadow to my left or was it to my right... "No matter." I thought to myself as my brain has been a bit twitchy as of late. Just then it hit me with the quickness of a particle of light I was lifted out of my chair picked up thrown half-way cross the room to find to my surprise that I was shirtless on the bed. The suddenness of the whole experience caught me completely off guard and a bit confused. I smelled her before I saw here and sensed her intentions just the same the intoxication that followed was that of complete chaos and passion flung wildly together in a mixture of emotion and dark thoughts. I suppose a sane man would have run. 

Breathing in I dare not open my eyes for fear of the truth before me for I knew that once I saw her eyes it would be over for me and her spell would be complete. I felt the back of her hand slowly run its way down, from my hair down my right cheek, wandering its way to my recently bared chest and then floating off as a leaf caught in the wind. "Don't you want me... losing the fight against reason I opened my eyes and what stood before me I shall never forget. "I do believe I'm lost" was all I could make my lips say.

  All the way home I could here here in my thoughts telling me of our desting or something and that if I wasnt going to listen it was ok she said in that pleading voice "dont you like my hair?" the first thought in my mind was of that flame hair red splayed out uppon the bed... she knew I could sense it we were connected in some way my very being fighting to stay in control to not run and free her from that prision in which I had placed her but I could not bring my feet to move in either direction suddenly I found myself standing on the sidewalk of the downtown street staring into space. I took a breath of relief and sadness an anxiousness looming as a great wave about to break upon the shore. I braced for the impact but there was none the feeling just remained. "you have been chosen... it has always been you." the thoughts echoed into my being.

She lay amidst the sheets, vacant stare, a far away expression on her pale face. I suppose is was the contrast midst the room, the red and white, the black of the curtains and bedposts, a floor that once was carpet now stained with the lifeblood of the young girl that lay before me. the wounds on her were unlike that of any animal yet the violence of the scene belied that of a human struggle that took place that is for certain. Yet of course it wouldn't have been so otherwise they wouldn't have called me.  

The Immediate certainty was that she would wake remembering the experience. Either one of joy or sorrow that was no matter but she couldn't be allowed to change free of shackles. at first I was loathe to chain a subject while they were... still mind you dead I don't know why, something in me felt that the last shred of humanity should not be torn from this coil with a cold chains binding so to this plane. the strength of a new changed was that of a hundred strong men hence the shackles now a mandate of the high council all changed would be bound in silver. it was amazing the reaction some feel that thy may die when bound in silver but in time they become numb compliant, a more manageable population the price the council claimed to be paid for eternal life.

With the passionate scream of a thousand lovers, she awoke, the desire not for blood, as were the myths, but for something more.  Something primal something dark. and yet as she looked at me through the glass I knew I was in trouble silver or no silver. she was a vampire a seductress and a new ones powers were strong yet fluctuated wildly. she walked calmly up to the glass as if she could see right through the mrror window into my soul she spoke not through the air and cords of a human voice yet a voice in my head "you feel this trinket will keep you from me my love? can you not taste the fun to be had? come with me!" she begged. "We shall run to the stars and be rid of this planet and there silver rule." I admit there was a piece of me that was tempted. a bead of sweat ran down my cheek as the girl behind the glass stared through me wailst the while she traced a circular pattern on the glass with here delicate pointer finger. "come my love..." as I turned to walk away her voice was there I didnt know if she would ever leave...I dont know if I wanted her to.