I am now on the verge of being healed...at least physically from all this. One the one hand I dont want to put myself through any more blood draws then I need to but then again I cant bear not knowing by numbers from day to day or at least week to week. Its almost like an obsession at least til its over. Sometimes I want to celebrate that this is almost over and another part of me screams inside knowing that I should be about 5 months pregnant right now. the pain is less and less with each passing day but sometimes the loss and emptiness is so profound that I literally burst into tears. It happens less and less now though. Being on here and helping others in my position has helped me more than I could ever hope to explain. Thanks for hanging in here and checking in with me. I love all my very close friends and family on here because they have been there to help me through this when some of the days were their darkest and I didnt think I could get off my knees anymore. thank you all so much!
