The Enchanting Goddess FuOwned By's blog: "The Fight"

I am sooo exhausted. This was one trip I would hope to never relive. I landed and got to what was to be the room I was to stay at, hell no. A crack whore might stay there, but any undrugged person would know better. My dad is who picked me up at the airport, we put my things back in his truck, I checked right back out, and off to Fort Worth we went from San Antonio. I had no sleep, no shower, but was on my way to the race. LOL The race was so awesome, but I was soo tired. I will be loading pics from it here soon. I have discovered so many changes since I stopped actively following Nascar. LOL I now must not only follow Tony Stewert (but he remains tops with me) but also Dale Jr and Mark Martin. It was such a blast!!!! Heading back from the race, about half way back to San Antonio, had to stop and get a room. My dad and I were so tired it was insane. I had to be ready for court the next morning so if anything had to get a shower and change clothes. I did get about 3-4 hrs sleep, then we were back on the road. Just outside San Antonio the clutch goes out on my dad's truck. Weird part, it was just before the exit my ex lives off of. He was nice enough to let us use his truck and he rode in to court in his wife's van. Awww he was being so sweet. Blah!! Ok, court, he was sooooo full of so many LIES. He was trying so hard to make him and his wife out to be such saints, while I supposedly was such a unfit mom claiming I was dirty and sleep around. I still can't figure out where he came up with so much shit other then his make believe world. I can't help but to laugh at so much shit he was literally pulling out his ass. My lawyer kept telling me not to worry about it. Ex was even trying to fight what the Home Study report said. He was literally trying to do everything he could because he didn't want to lose. In the end though, he still did. My lawyer wasn't even worried about trying to disprove the things my ex was saying, said there was no point. He made sure the judge did get his copy of the Home Study report. My oldest daughter is so happy, she can't wait to come back home for good. There is a few things that still needs to be settled, like how this summer is going to work out visitation wise with ex's new wife since ex will be deployed, and also child support amount. Judge wants us to work those out. I was tooo tired to think of numbers yesterday so that is still open. Off to get those pics loaded and finish unpacking. This summer can't get here fast enough now. Wooohooo!!!!

Well today is the day I fly out. I'm really nervous about court on Monday, but yet I'm not. I got to read the report from the home study, and she does recommend them going with me. The judge could always decide different. I was told to also be prepared for my ex to contest the judge's ruling. I don't know if I will have a laptop with me while I'm gone. At the moment my step son has it, but he is supposed to be bringing it back, just not sure if before I need to leave. If I don't, I will still be logged in here and will have my husband do updates to my family members who inquire. I will deeply miss you while I am gone!!! Oh, and I will be at the Nascar race on Sunday......Look For Me!!! hehehe

For the next two weeks I will barely be around. I'll be here but mostly not. I know, not much different then now. Except, I may be a few days here and there or not on at all. It's crunch time before court!!!!! My home study is coming up next week, then week after is court. EKKK!!!!! No one can understand why he is doing this, he has no real reason, oh, and he's deployed!!! I have several things around the house I need to get worked on. Weather has been nice and we have had some awful winds and storms. Got tons of yard work that also needs done. It sucks when you only really have one full day off work to try and do all this. I don't want there to be ANY reason my house would not/could not pass this home study. I don't think there is any reason, but I don't know what her standards are. People keep telling me to settle down, I have nothing to worry about. Hey, I'm just wanting to make sure.... Talked to my lawyer today, and he has talked to his lawyer. Ex is trying to claim he fears I will alienate the girls from him, and that I have been uncooperative since we were divorcing. Excuse me??? Our decree is written as he wanted, except for 1 part I made sure was in there as we had discussed, the girls returning to me this summer for good. Yet, he can't even follow something he has written. He picks and chooses what he wants to. I guess it's been my fault for allowing him to, just because I didn't want to have to go through what I am now. But the first and only time I have put my foot down....here we are. As for alienating....uhmm....this isn't when we first started the war....the first time he was there. They do have phones and internet more so then before. He knows he can write/call/whatever anytime... He will know when his R&R is, and those arrangements can be made. When he gets back, he'll get his visitations. Oh, and my husband will make double sure that I allow him all his holidays unlike I had been allowed. I will not use his excuses that "there isn't enough days for them to travel and settle back down before school" like he tells me. It does just piss me off. My lawyer tells me not to sweat it, my ex likely is in a panic realizing that while he is gone, he is losing what control he did still have in just a few months. I just can't wait for this to be over with and to hold my daughters in my arms again. Another thing that has me mad is this past week was their spring break, and I didn't know that. I thought is was later on. No one told me when it actually would be. I was never given the option of bringing them here or anything. It was my turn to have them this year for it. Instead, they spent the week with the new wife's family, and new wife wasn't with them!!! In 2 weeks this will all be over. Hopefully in 2 weeks it will be proven my ex has no more control over me, and can no longer bully me. In 2 weeks I will hopefully be able to proudly stand tall that he didn't threaten me until I give up in fear. Hopefully in 2 weeks I will win!!

I finally got an attorney Thursday Night. I have never had an attorney before. I really hope he is able to help out so it's not just me against my ex's attorney anymore. I am just looking forward to this being over with.

Just a quick note to say a court date has been set for beginning of April. Sorry to make this short, off to work.

Anyone who knows me knows my kids mean everything to me. This includes my daughters who at this time live with my ex. Our divorce decree states my girls come back to my care starting Summer 2008. Now before I go on, my ex husband is deployed now. He will not be back for over a yr. He is currently deployed but still in states at another duty station, until this spring. This spring he goes out of country. I was just in court in TX, I live in VA, because he is trying to change our divorce decree. He wants the girls to stay with his NEW WIFE. All this because I finally stood up to him and said no. The FIRST time I ever stood up for myself w/ him, and now he is trying to use the court system to bully me with. I dunno whether or not I won the first battle yesterday. I had no attorney to his. It was just me, representing me. I think I made it clear I was fighting and disputing everything. Now have to go through a Home Study, and pay part of it. Not going to be cheap since the person will have to travel from TX to VA. That on top of needing an attorney.....I don't know how I'm going to afford it. This hurts more then anything.....But I know I can't give up....