Death?
Current mood: blank
Death? what exactlly is death? is it just the end of existance? a release of pain? should we be afraid of death? or should we welcome it with arms wide open? is death really a bad thing?
Now i dont know about you, but heres my take on it. do i wish for it? yes some days more then others, will i take my own life? probbly not any time soon if at all. now why do i say this? well because i look at my life and what do i see? well i see shit...no, its not my job, i actully like what i do and i get a fairly decent paycheck for an uneducated job. but money isnt the answer to every thing, money cant buy you every thing, unlike what some people think. so why do i think about death so offten? well the answer is pretty plain and simple. its i feel as if i'm all alone in life. and no i dont mean in a relationship or not, thats a whole nother issue in its self, and a story for another day. but what i'm talking about is friends .... no sure i've got friends ... but most of there are really just aquatances, and the people i concidered good friends, i'm really starting to doubt how good of friends they actully are. it seams like as long as were out at the bar were having a good time, but really the whole bar scean is getting old, you know no one ever calls me up and justs asks how it going, anymore. you know some days i think that if i did die some how at home, it wouldnt be a friend thast found me, unfortunatly it would probbly be some one from were i work, either calling a family member to see as to why i havent been to work.witch is really sad. and then i think who would actully show up at my funrale? well i know my family would, but as for my friends? well i guess that would all depend how much booze would be there.
well now you might be saying to your self why don't i just go out and find more friends? well yah in a perfect world thats what i'd do, but its not that simple for me. i've been scarred to many times in the past just to let poeple get to close to me. i'm very stand-off-ish when it comes to letting people get to close to me. a very good friend once said to me that the reason people hurt me is that i'm to nice, people see that and then take advantage of that quality in me. so yes here i am, cursed to being alone, untill the day the reaper comes to pay me a call. how fun dose that sound?
want to join me? didnt think so ....
Currently watching :
Trigun Vol. 5 - Angel Arms
Release date: 21 November, 2000
