DKC's blog: "rambles in my head"

today is 2001/5/01 @ 2315 cont. from yesterday........

so i had today off and as normal i thought to much but just let the day go with out saying anything but i find most times that not an easy thing to do there are way to many how should i put it......well just to many fucking mouth breathers around for u not to just want to walk up and punch them in the fucking mouth and i am one who is not afraid to do it.....hell whats the worse that can happen to i get my ass kiccked or i kick some one else's ass or well it just looks like we both kicked our own ass but hey thats the fun of right u never know whats comeing ur way but back to that later i got to talk to her alot more today still seems a bit off but i know she has alot going on and im an insecure kinda go may not see it but i hide it well very few ppl know this till now but fuck it i need to fix it some or i will never have some one like her to stick around i dont wany to be one of those grummpy old men that hayes the world besides i already do that and the self loating i have in me is not good......im tired of ppl running away just becuse i have shit in my head most ppl dont and when i talk about it ppl say wtf is wrong with u well i am a person who likes the midget dressed up like a leperchon and the wilder beast in a skoal can they provid me with entertament so fuck all who dont have ppl in there head becuse u do iam just willing to share mine!!!!!!! i spent 8 hrs on air again with tunes that make me think and some that just help the rage i hold inside to kill some one witch is a long list and i wont start that and only about one person i can think of knows it and she is the one person i have told a lot of stuff to in a short time and not sure why i did but it felt like she is the one i could talk to and could understand what was in my head cuse i get lost on walk abouts in there alll the time and man i need a fucking tour guid that dont speak lerpchonanise that shit is just more fustrateing lol to tell u the truth im not sure why iam righting this i have never been one who dose this kinda thing as i said b4 but for some reason i feel a bit more mello when done so i ask friends is this a way to be happy or just a band aid on a chainsaw cut that needs medical attention? well im sure i need more than just this but why let some over paid head doc fuck with my emotions when i have fubar to do that......so they say bin layden is dead well a-fucking-men my brothers and sisters but we still will not get our brothers in arms back any time soon the goverment needs war this country was founded on that so what will happen some over payed fucking number cruncher and some fucking left wing nut will get together right the right and find away to turn it into away to re-elect a fucking douche of a prez we have run us into the ground some more and all the time they will reap the cash from it as the goverment gets bigger the people get poorier and the wealth cut tax breaks like never b4 where did we go wrong when it is more imporant for us to help everybody in the world and forget about our own ppl wake the fuck up ppl(goverment) look in ur own back yard to see what u can fix and then u will be helping fix the world u retards....so i go and take my ged test tomorrow so i can go to college and make a life that will at some point will fail as i always do as shown in my recent actions but another story for another blog.......so ask why at 33 i am going to do my ged well cuse iam a dumbe ass who droped out in the 9th grade went it to the navy after life kicked me in the balls a bunch of times got my ged there but the colleges dont take it becuse it is non-traditional so once again i am back at the drawling bored trying to figure out how to make my life work.....now iam not by any means poor or ritch but yes i have the same prob as u i am over worked under payed and tired of not have all my bills payed untill the due date on them it sucks fucking monkey balls i know what ur thinking right and u shut fucking leperchon it was my choice to work were iam at but hey thats all thats out there for a man who has made the mistakes i have and done the thing iam not so proud of.....who i am what iwas are 2 different ppl but nobody cares who u are any ways just what it says on the internet or on some damn piece of papper....but would never know that 5 yrs agao i made 60 grand a yr had 8 yrs in the navy a wife at the time one wonderful doughter still huggies now i have an x child support for 2 kids live in a camper my choice i can pay all makeing just over 23 grand a yr doing all i can to make sure my kids can have what they want and not need anything but for some reason that still dont seem to be enough why i dont know maybe cuse i dont have anybody i can spend what happy time i can have with but maybe one day she will see me for who i am what i am and willing to do for it to work and maybe it's hard for somebody to be with me i have a traut prob i have been cheated on by every female i have been with so i tend to over react to the small stuff and under react to the big stuff and allow my blind hate to rare it's head i know not everybody is perfrect as i told her today but u can aslways try to better right but how can u do that if u dont know what to fix or how to fix it with out the help of some one to tell he shit head look here? i should be going to bed but my brain just wont stop and half of what i want to say and need to i cnt not yet yes i am an asshole and will tell u what i think but should i really do it a blog or would it do asny good? but just not redy to piss that many ppl off so i will wait a few days and see how things turn out with out every comes down the pike and well i have not even started on what i really had in my head and i dont know why but my fringers type some thing other than what my head is telling it to so for that i will say good night and have a wonderful life....."If you can imagine it, you can acheive it; if you can dream it, you can become it."